As challenging as it is, putting in the repetitions of putting yourself first is only a surface-level tactic.
The deeper strategy is to become comfortable with sometimes letting people down. When what they need at that very minute clashes with what’s important for you.
It requires feeling those uncomfortable feelings that come from letting someone down. Feelings that were probably hardwired when you were young. While still being able to do what’s right by you.
It’s only once you can comfortably sit with those feelings that you can say:
“No, I can’t take the kids to the Sudoku-Wrestling practice because I am working out.”
“No, I can’t wash the peanut butter off the dog because I am going for a run.”
“No, I can’t look at that super-important-business-thing-that-you-should’ve-finished-this-morning right now because I have an appointment with my therapist.”
“No, I can’t go to the shops to buy Jell-O for your jelly tower because I am going for dinner with my friends.”
Letting people down is hard. Yet, putting yourself first means that others will sometimes feel disappointed.
-J