Blog

There are a bunch of reasons why the fitness industry is doing such an excellent job of alienating people, especially women, from fitness. But none more effective than the pervasive message that the entry point into fitness is about losing weight.

All we have to do is look at most of the mainstream fitness marketing. We see images of people, most of them genetically predisposed to a leaner physique*, perspiring their way toward glory.

Maybe you see these glistening photos and think, “Not for me.” You believe you don’t belong here because weight loss isn’t your goal.

Just because the fitness industry seems to think your goal should be to lose weight, it doesn’t have to be your goal.

Being fit is about having the strength, stamina, and energy to live life to the fullest. It’s about navigating through challenges and getting the most out of the stuff that brings you joy and meaning.

And you can achieve it all without ever having to step on a scale.

-J

*A group of which I am a part. Although, you won’t find glistening photos of me online. And yes, in 2018, I put two slim, “fit” looking people on my book cover. But hey. Live and learn.

Getting even remotely excited about exercise is tough when you’re always tired.

When simple things feel hard, and you have to wrestle with the general lack of energy on an hourly basis, lacing up your trainers probably isn’t the most appealing thing you can think of. And I get it. Juggling a family and running a business takes it out of you.

But. The thing that you feel too tired to do is the thing that helps you shift the energy.

The trick (there isn’t one, but stay with me here) is to do just enough that you’ll feel a boost in your energy. But not so much that you’ll end up commando-crawling through the next few days.

And the only way to figure ‘enough’ is to have a go. And the more you do it, the higher your ‘enough’ will be.

That, and maybe not watching Netflix till 11 pm.

-J

This month’s coaching intake is closing on Sunday. We’re kicking off on Monday. And today’s a great day to sign up. If you’re a parentpreneur and want to reclaim your energy and strength with an approach that works with your life, hit reply. Let’s chat to see if my coaching would be a good fit.

And yes, today’s the last day you’ll hear about it this month.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed about the changes you think you should implement to improve your health.

Whether it’s the widely different expert advice online. Or the well-intentioned but often always misfiring advice from friends, colleagues, or the nana next door who really wants you to know her opinion about how you should eat, parent, and live.

Would your health be better off if you exercised an hour daily, ate 21 healthy meals a week, and permanently duck-taped the cork on the pinot? Yeah. I’d say your health would improve.

But let’s be real. Unless there are some significant health issues on the immediate horizon, or you possess the mind of a reinforced concrete, that’s just not going to happen.

Meanwhile, an hour of exercise a week instead of zero is an improvement.

Eating 14 healthy meals instead of 13 is a win.

And going every second day pinotless is worth a parrot sticker.

Is any of that perfect? Nope.

But we don’t care about perfection. We care that you’re doing better than you did before.

-J

I am taking on new clients this week. And we’re kicking off on Monday. If you’re a parentpreneur and want to reclaim your energy and strength with an approach that works with your life, hit reply. Let’s chat to see if my coaching would be a good fit.

“I’ll be more active once the kids are older.”

“I’ll exercise once my business isn’t as hectic.”

If the change seems hard now, it’ll seem hard in the future. Once your work and the kids don’t need as much time and energy, something else will. That’s how life works.

You don’t have to make drastic changes. And you don’t have to implement all the changes at once.

But no one is going to give you the time. You’ll have to take it.

Start by carving a little time for your health today.

-J

Committing to daily exercise doesn’t mean you must reshuffle your calendar or wake up before the rooster to do Jane Fonda aerobics.

Daily exercise simply means that you do something every day. Some days mimic a typical 30-45 minute workout. There are short and long walks. There are days when exercising means walking up and down stairs for 5 minutes. And everything in between.

The goal is to build a habit of exercise.

When you’re building a new habit, the amount you do daily is irrelevant. What matters is that you do something. And the more often you do it, the better.

For example, I had the kids all day today, which meant zero chance for formal exercise. So I did a few random pull-ups, dips, and single-leg squats while the kids went nuts at a playground.

Weird? Other parents seemed to think so. But hey, aren’t we all weird anyway…

-J

The more often you ask yourself, “Am I going to exercise today?” the more often you allow yourself to say no.

And whether you’re going to say no to exercise today, tomorrow, and in the weeks and months ahead depends on your mood, energy, stress, and availability on any given day. That and all the other factors that come with a busy family life and a thriving business.

You can forever remove the opportunity to say no to exercise by making one decision today.

“I am going to exercise every day.”

Now, you’re on the hook. The daily question is no longer if you’re going to exercise but what kind of exercise you will do.

But you’re also making things easier for yourself. You build a habit with repetition. And there is no better way to build in the reps than by doing them daily.

This is why I decided to send an email every weekday instead of my previous one or two a week. Because 99% of the time, it’s easier to write and publish every day than it is to wrestle with the build-up of anxiety, knowing that I have to send something every Thursday.

It’s counterintuitive. But it works.

-J

Exercise on your terms. Not by what Instagram influencers, society or bullshit fitness trends impose on you.

Create your definition of what exercise and fitness mean to you. Both in terms of your goals and the actual exercise stuff you do.

It should be a positive, empowering experience, even if you don’t always look forward to it. Because let’s face it, there are days when exercise is about the last thing you feel like doing. On par with getting a colonoscopy done in a crowded lift on your way to IKEA.

This doesn’t mean that all the exercise you do is easy. But even when challenging, exercise should make you feel all kinds of good, both physically and mentally.

-J

You don’t want to end up with a plan you anticipate with the same intensity as a barefoot Riverdance class on a floor of misplaced Legos.

Use your interests and personality as your guide. Start by listing the activities you enjoy. Make those the bulk of your plan.

Then sprinkle in the stuff you might not enjoy a whole lot, but know that you need to do to reach your goals.

Sure, you might not end up with the most optimal plan. But there’s no point in having an optimal plan you resent more than a politician resents a term limit. It won’t hold.

The more you can match this whole fitness thing with your interests and personality, the more likely you’ll stick with it. And the more likely you’ll make a habit out of it.

And for now, that’s all that matters. Optimal or not.

-J

But about learning problem-solving skills and adjusting your approach when you can’t do what the plan demands.

-J

Between her work in tech and taking care of her daughter, exercise can (understandably) become an afterthought for my client B. Yet, she’s managed to bent yoga into a solid habit. Strength training though, is still relatively new for her.

It’s not uncommon for B to slam shut the laptop late at night and then have a willpower-depleted, tiredness-infused battle between Apple TV and a strength workout. A battle that doesn’t always end with a workout.

A systematical thinker that she is, B looked at what’s worked with the yoga habit and whether she could copy/paste it for her strength workouts.

What she dug out was a trigger. Every morning, when her daughter heads off to school, B’s trigger for yoga kicks in:

The kid leaves for school (trigger) -> I do yoga (habit)

So, she came up with a trigger for her strength session around her daughter’s bedtime:

The kid’s about to go to bed (trigger) –> I do a strength workout

The benefit of this trigger goes way beyond just B’s health. B also sets an excellent example for her daughter. When her daughter comes to say good night, she sees mum doing a workout. Instead of going to bed watching mum slay on the computer.

For me, as someone who grew up watching my dad do ab crunches and push ups on the bedroom floor, this shit matters.

-J