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Over the years, I’ve noticed that the typical training cycle for most clients (and myself) follows a predictable pattern.

Three to five weeks of consistent training, followed by a week or two where one of the following happens:

a) the kids get sick
b) they get sick
c) work gets insane
d) something something the in-laws
e) all of the above and then some

Nothing chips away motivation and enthusiasm more than expecting smoothness and then getting hit by the crunchy realities of life. That disappointment of shit happening out of our control and us being unable to piece it together with anything else except time.

Expecting something to derail your plans removes this disappointment. While also leaving the door slightly open for those surprises when things actually go smoothly.

-J

ps. Random question. Where do you spend your time online? Which business, parenting, learning or other groups of your interests are you actively participating in?

A fellow reader, Henry sent in these great questions, and I thought my answers would be helpful for others too. Shared with permission and slightly edited by me.

What is the best course of action to take when you hurt yourself physically – twist a knee, pull a muscle, wake up stiff?

I enjoy my training but when I get hurt, I’m not sure what to do and beside limiting my ability to train, directly affects my mood and temperament for the worse.

I feel like I am wading through a murky swamp. [Should I] Continue exercising / rest. Ice / don’t ice. Take Advil (or similar) / Don’t take it. Etcetera.

And here’s my reply:

It’s tough to give super specific advice on this one but in general…

Movement is usually the best thing you can do for niggles. It helps bring nutrients to the area and remove waste products. So for a stiff back, cat camels, walking etc usually help. How much movement you do depends on your pain tolerance. But for most niggles, keeping the pain < 3 out of 10 is a good rule. 

Here are a few things I’ve written about pain that might help.

Advil etc. might prolong the healing of the tissue as they reduce the inflammation. Inflammation is good for healing. But I obviously wouldn’t go against what your doctor might advise.

Icing is the same. Although icing will make the area feel better (because of numbing), it will slow the inflammation.

As for reducing the odds of getting hurt, this advice took me a long time to internalise. Reduce how often you push your limits. For most workouts, avoid failure (2-3 reps shy of failure tends to be the best for progressing while reducing injuries.) Use a similar approach to other activities. If you compete in something, save your max effort for those.

And here’s something I wrote about training with injuries. And here’s another.

-J

There are days when someone or something deserves the attention we usually reserve for exercise.

-J

Once upon a time, you had firm, beautifully built boundaries.

Boundaries that, despite everything you had to juggle, provided you with the space to take care of your needs.

But when you look around now, you only see the ruins of those boundaries.

They didn’t all break at once. No, people around you slowly chipped them away.

You agreed to add another school pickup for a while. Take on extra work. Get the dog to the vet. Order the groceries.

Now it’s months, even years later, and you’re still stuck with extra tasks meant to be temporary.

You know this is not sustainable. Not if you want to take better care of your health and fitness.

The only way to change the situation is to start building those boundaries again.

Who do you need to talk to today to lay down the foundation for a new boundary?

And how can you reinforce it so it doesn’t crumble as easily?

-J

 

Regardless of how you bake it, reclaiming your energy, strength, and fitness requires you to become uncomfortable.

But ambitious plans fail when challenging, uncomfortable physical and mental feelings exceed our tolerance.

Yet, that’s what most people do when starting a new fitness program. Taking on too much, barely tolerating it, and giving up before having the chance to build it into a habit.

The key to success is to find a level of uncomfortableness that you can tolerate. And then gradually add more as your tolerance increases.

Until one day, you won’t recognise your previous self.

Or, as one of my clients said today, “I may not hate strength training”.

-J

ps. I am taking on four new online coaching clients this week. Are you a tired parentpreneur who:

– Wants to reclaim your energy and strength slowly and sustainably
– Juggles business, parenthood and about a gazillion other roles and responsibilities
– Gives zero f*cks about having abs and doesn’t want to focus on weight loss or counting calories
– Is willing to carve out 90 minutes a week for improving your health and fitness

If reading that makes at least two of your neck vertebrae sore from vigorous nodding, hit reply. And we’ll have a chat to see if my coaching program would be a good fit.

Going for the extremes is a sign of desperation.

We’re not happy with the situation we are in. And we want to move away from that situation as quickly as possible, often at a rate that’s not sustainable.

In contrast, going slow leads to a more consistent effort. And the more consistent we are, the less appealing the extremes become.

-J

This is the opposite of what we’ve been told to do.

The typical response to uncomfortable feelings is to ignore them. To grind through. Hoping that we can kill these feelings with sheer tyranny of will.

But ignoring uncomfortable, challenging feelings doesn’t make them go away. They get pushed to the side. They pile up.

And once the pile gets high enough, it’ll collapse back on us.

Instead of pushing through, stop. Let the feeling come in. Sit with it. Get to know it. Recognise what you feel.

Where does it come from? What is it telling you? Giving your full attention to these feelings is how they lose their strength.

And then, you can return to the task at hand.

-J

How do you know those beliefs to be true?

Maybe the beliefs you have only exist in your mind.

Maybe they’re a product of your past actions.

Either way, support the new, more productive belief by taking action that aligns with who you want to be.

-J

That’s one of the first things Mary* said to me when she signed up for coaching.

She was in her late 30s and a decade and some change postpartum. And she had been dealing with pelvic floor issues and incontinence ever since. Besides jumping, she also had to rush out of bed to make it to the toilet in time, among other things.

The story isn’t how she’d been trying to fix her pelvic floor issue but couldn’t. Nope.

She hadn’t done anything about it, thinking some form of incontinence is given once you give birth. During that decade after giving birth, no one told her she didn’t have to live with a weak pelvic floor for the rest of her life.

I learned about her struggles because we discussed her training and health history during the first coaching week—the things she liked and didn’t like. And the jumping and incontinence came up.

I am not a pelvic floor specialist, so we found a pelvic floor physiotherapist for Mary near where she lived. And the appointments with the therapist and the homework she prescribed made all the difference to Mary’s confidence in exercise, getting to the toilet on time and most importantly, her quality of life.

So, if you’re living through a similar story right now, this is a reminder to reach out to a pelvic floor specialist for help.

You can decide how your story ends.

-J

*Not her real name.

An underappreciated aspect of having a solid grasp of health principles?

You’re comfortable sitting on your seat, eating popcorn, while others go nuts about the latest health trend.

You’re waiting to see if whatever everyone’s losing their minds (and money) about is worth joining.

Because once most circuses leave town, you might as well stay seated and order more popcorn for the next show.

-J