Whatever THAT is.
There is always an alternative.
When it comes to exercise and nutrition, you can make everything fit your personality, preferences and lifestyle.
If someone tells you otherwise, they’ll likely have a financial motive riding shotgun.
-J
The failure to change and break unhealthy habits is rarely about not having the right tactics.
We’ve all been there. Using the Pomodoro technique to curb procrastination, choosing carrots instead of Oreos, or performing the reverse Jesus and swapping wine for water.
It might work for a while. But like a cheap bandaid, it won’t stick.
Because what triggers those unhealthy habits in the first place is our response to uncomfortable emotions.
We choose unhealthy, unproductive habits because they allow us to temporarily hide from whatever mental turbulence we’re feeling.
And the only way to truly break an unhealthy habit is to face and deal with those triggering uncomfortable emotions.
As uncomfortable as it may be.
-J
A book that doesn’t click and a workout that feels like crap have a lot in common. We feel an obligation to finish what we’ve started.
But there are no points, stars or parrot signs for mindless grit. You’re not doing this for anyone else except yourself. There’s no test in the end.
Close the book. Drop the weights.
What matters is that you pick up the next book and show up for another workout.
-J
This morning I woke up to a message from B, one of the coaching clients. She’d done a strength workout last night despite having zero motivation.
For anyone trying to build an exercise habit, that is a sign of progress worthy of a Van Halen knuckle pump. I’ll go as far as saying that it overrides any superficial or feeling-based progress.
Because you’re no longer only showing up because of the impending future results. You’re showing up because exercise is becoming a part of what you do and who you are.
That’s when you show up and do the work regardless of whether you’re motivated.
And once you get to this point, you’ve moved past the most challenging part of building a new habit. Because from now on, showing up is often easier than stopping.
The only way to get to this point is to show up enough times, despite the resistance. And one day, it’ll start to feel weird not to show up.
Well done for showing up, B!
-J
Warning signs that our health and fitness approach needs course-correcting:
And then a few of the more obvious ones:
Yep, the health and fitness industry is a magnet for absolute nonsense. But it’s the stuff that kind of makes sense that we often trip over.
-J
There are places in life where immediate feedback makes all the difference. Driving a car, having a conversation or trying to calibrate a nuclear fusion. Crashes, misunderstandings and very unpleasant nuclear things happen when there’s a delay in the feedback.
The opposite is true when you’re trying to reclaim your energy and strength without burning out in the process. Expecting immediate feedback on your efforts is bound to lead to disappointment. You’re putting in a lot of work and noticing very little change.
This is why short-term transformations are so appealing to a lot of people. They promise immediate feedback on your efforts.
But, if part of your goal is to keep your results, it helps to shift your feedback timeline from days to months.
-J
Over the years, I’ve noticed that the typical training cycle for most clients (and myself) follows a predictable pattern.
Three to five weeks of consistent training, followed by a week or two where one of the following happens:
a) the kids get sick
b) they get sick
c) work gets insane
d) something something the in-laws
e) all of the above and then some
Nothing chips away motivation and enthusiasm more than expecting smoothness and then getting hit by the crunchy realities of life. That disappointment of shit happening out of our control and us being unable to piece it together with anything else except time.
Expecting something to derail your plans removes this disappointment. While also leaving the door slightly open for those surprises when things actually go smoothly.
-J
ps. Random question. Where do you spend your time online? Which business, parenting, learning or other groups of your interests are you actively participating in?
A fellow reader, Henry sent in these great questions, and I thought my answers would be helpful for others too. Shared with permission and slightly edited by me.
What is the best course of action to take when you hurt yourself physically – twist a knee, pull a muscle, wake up stiff?
I enjoy my training but when I get hurt, I’m not sure what to do and beside limiting my ability to train, directly affects my mood and temperament for the worse.
I feel like I am wading through a murky swamp. [Should I] Continue exercising / rest. Ice / don’t ice. Take Advil (or similar) / Don’t take it. Etcetera.
And here’s my reply:
It’s tough to give super specific advice on this one but in general…
Movement is usually the best thing you can do for niggles. It helps bring nutrients to the area and remove waste products. So for a stiff back, cat camels, walking etc usually help. How much movement you do depends on your pain tolerance. But for most niggles, keeping the pain < 3 out of 10 is a good rule.
Here are a few things I’ve written about pain that might help.
Advil etc. might prolong the healing of the tissue as they reduce the inflammation. Inflammation is good for healing. But I obviously wouldn’t go against what your doctor might advise.
Icing is the same. Although icing will make the area feel better (because of numbing), it will slow the inflammation.
As for reducing the odds of getting hurt, this advice took me a long time to internalise. Reduce how often you push your limits. For most workouts, avoid failure (2-3 reps shy of failure tends to be the best for progressing while reducing injuries.) Use a similar approach to other activities. If you compete in something, save your max effort for those.
And here’s something I wrote about training with injuries. And here’s another.
-J
There are days when someone or something deserves the attention we usually reserve for exercise.
-J
Once upon a time, you had firm, beautifully built boundaries.
Boundaries that, despite everything you had to juggle, provided you with the space to take care of your needs.
But when you look around now, you only see the ruins of those boundaries.
They didn’t all break at once. No, people around you slowly chipped them away.
You agreed to add another school pickup for a while. Take on extra work. Get the dog to the vet. Order the groceries.
Now it’s months, even years later, and you’re still stuck with extra tasks meant to be temporary.
You know this is not sustainable. Not if you want to take better care of your health and fitness.
The only way to change the situation is to start building those boundaries again.
Who do you need to talk to today to lay down the foundation for a new boundary?
And how can you reinforce it so it doesn’t crumble as easily?
-J